"But that would take a miracle!!" "Aye" says jesus, "Theres the rub"

During the past month being at home all damn day long i have had alot of time on my hands. i changed my e-mail address and what not to clean out the msn list and switch everything over. what on ordeal i tell you! the address i wanted was taken so i changed a few letters to numbers and it was all a go. So go to change my blog over a few days later. i cant get into my blog my password doesnt work. "waht the hell" well after a few hours of trouble shooting and realized that the password fixer e-mails from blogger werent coming to me. so i realized.. I had not given them the right address by not putting the numbers in. oops.. so all my password information ended up going to a mystery person who has the e-mail addy i wanted.

after e-mailing this person and stressing about my blog being changed etc. i tried to find a blogger e-mail address where they could fix this problem i created.
it was extreamly difficult to find out how to fix this.. but finally i found the address and e-mailed them about the aforementioned problem. they sent me to a link of FAQs.. i emailed them back.. "no you dont understand!!!" and then got everything figured out so now ive got this thing back.

As ive said ive had alot of time on my hands so ive been watching the television....sorry.

there is something very "soulsucking" about day time television. I think ive watched enough oprah and dr. phil to make people puke. i swear to god Oprah has to be americas most effective cult leader. if she says its good... america thinks its good. i could go off about oprah at the drop of a pin but im starting to believe she has hit men at her beckoned call. i seriously wouldnt want to piss that woman off she could ruin your entire life by snapping her fingers and opening her purse.
all you have to do is write a book, have her say its good.. and you have it made.
but piss her off.... man you could have every house wife in america on your ass for ever more.

Have you ever noticed there is absolutly nothing ever on much music or mtv anymore?
im starting to wonder if there really ever was anything good on those channels and i was just to "15 years old" to notice. come to think of it i didnt really watch it much then either.
pimp my ride?? seriosly what 16 year old needs a suped up lowrider mustang?

i must be jaded or somthing. At 23 that might be a little sad. I watched the top 20 best videos of all time, top 10 bands that never made it, the top 10 bands that should have been one hit wonders.

Which brings me to the questions... what ever happened to the bee girl. you know who im talking about. Im aware than blind melon didn't produce much and thats sad. but what happened to her.. she has to be in her twenties or somthing. where is she? what is she doing? enquiring minds want to know.

What happened to the Presidants of the United States of America. Not the political ones.. the band... i know there second album wasnt very good but why throw in the towel? after all everyone always wants to be naked and famous.

If bon jovi and Richie Sambora had a fist fight who would win?... and for that matter if bon jovi had a fight with a peice of grass. who would win?

more to follow...

Its not a tumor!!!

well what the hell... this has been a rather interesting month i should say...
here is the story..

Once upon a time on feb 18th 2006 I went and saw rocky horror picture show with my good friend we had a beer and a good time but i started not feeling well so i got him to take me home. Next morning i wake up Sunday Feb. 19th 2006 feeling like supreme shit. I had only had one beer i shouldnt have been feeling this way. i wasnt hung over it was weirder than that.

So i decided to go get myself a glass of water as i was feeling dizzy and light headed and was trying to remedy the situation. Upon arrival in the kitchen everything in my vision shifted to the left, i had wicked vertigo, my legs stopped working the way they should and i collapsed on the kitchen floor.

I was promptly scooped off the floor and taken to emergancy where i waited.

5 hours later i was admited. The ER doctor did a bunch of tests he thought I may have had an aneurism.. i went up for a CAT scan. they were looking for some sort of tumor because i had a wicked bad headache..

it came back normal.

He then decided to do a lumbar puncture (which is a nice way of saying spinal tap, which is in turn a nice way of saying "we are gonna shove a 4 inch long needle into your spine and take out some fluid" ) so that test made sure i didnt have an aneurism...

also, the spinal tap didnt hurt as bad as everyone says! it was sorta uncomfortable but totally tolerable. extream body peircing or somthing. i have had other thing happen to me that hurt worse... like stepping on a nail.. that hurts waaaaay worse than the spinal tap.. get one! everyone is doing it.. you want to be cool dont you?

Anyway....


"I believe you have viral meningitus"

"oh shit"

"its not the life threating kind"

"can other people get it from me?"

"its not contagious"

"how did i get it then?"

"i dont know"

"how long will it last?"

"i dont know"

"why do i have vertigo"

"i dont know"

"oh... great"

"no work or driving until this gets sorted out"

"...."



So then he sends me to a neurologist who beat on me with hammers they he had no idea what was wrong (by this time i couldnt really walk without falling over as my legs wouldnt work) so he sent me to another neurologist.. who also had no idea. he ordered an MRI but there was a 4 months waiting list... miraculasly it got bumbed up till the next tuesday woo only a two day wait.

So i went and had this MRI done they said they would get back to me within 10 days if something came up abnormal... two weeks past i heard nothing i assumed everything was ok and this virus would get out of my system... in the mean time i went to my family doctor to get some EI forms filled out... i made a flip comment about how i was probably fine cause i had not heard about the MRI and it just has to run its course. he says well we have your results they got sent to us here they are:

"Conclusion:

Multifocal white matter lesions. The morphology and ditribution of lesions in a patient of this age are suggestive of demyelination due to multiple sclerosis"

"fuck"

so upon returning home we called up the neurologist's office and yelled at them for not phoneing us to let us know that i appearently had MS.

"fuck"

we bizarrly enough got an appointment for the next day where we actually got to see these white lesions on my brain. the doctor than said its his gut instinct that i do not have MS.

"what the fuck"

so no one had any idea whats wrong with me and ive had the same head ache for over 6 weeks now. which is why i havent been blogging to much. excuses excuses.

on the bright side my family and my friends have been extreamly helpful
to which im quite happy. thanks so much!

I dont got the "ESPN"
and its not a tumor! although i do have proof i have a brain and the most perfect beautiful egg shaped head i ever saw.

Attack of the Intergalactic Crotch Hussies

to hell with photoshop... paint program rules!

Enter Fire Chucking Comet

Barbie1Kanobie and the Malibu Death star

(title has absolutly nothing to do with what this is about so deal with it.)

Metal people are dicks. Its a known fact. There are different levels of dickness but they are dicks none-the-less. It all revolves around self esteem and insecurities.
(((hahahahaha! highschool! funny!)))

An internet aquaintence was talking to me about a gig his band had (((which i regretfully had to miss))) though he had a good time he was concerned that the other band who played with them were heavier... i said.. as long as it was a good gig what does it matter? I went on about how self critisism is sometimes the worst kind etc. He then told me this was based upon what people posted on and internet web community.

first of all- people on the internet do shit like that.. it may not be true. they may not have even seen it. mostly people who post shit on the inter have no real social life me included. ((( i said mostly dammit. hey if they generalize i can generalize too)))

second of all- this brings me to my initial point... metal people are dicks. most are fickle sons of bitches with deep rooted issues. Remember!! they are all just D and D geeks in leather jackets. its all about presenting a hard core image. If his band suddenly cut an album and made it somewhere there would be the same people that would say things like "yah man i saw them before thay made it. those guys shred." ((( which in turn makes them appear more hard core)))
I was at a party the past weekend and there was alot of these metal heads at this party. where i went compleatly as myself with all my music with the the idea of i dotn care if you dont like my music becasue i do and thats all that matters..
there was this 19 year old "hippy" kid there and these metal guy were pretty much picking on him cause he didnt look hardcore enough or what stuff.. so we were all sitting there and this kid mentions iced earth and how much he like that band... well these "hard core metal dicks" were like "iced earth fucking blows you poseur!!" which made this kid feel really stupid and embarressed. now i happen to enjoy iced earth probably not as much as he but i said yeah man they are pretty cool i dig a question of heaven.. and his facial expression changes the redness left his face and we tlaked about iced earth for a bit.. when this metal guy chimes in and was like yeah man they arent that bad (((this coming from the guy that just called this kid a poseur cause ice earth fucking sucked)))

so this same guy interjects with his band interests mostly death metal which some i enjoy others not so much. but he brought up a particular band whom i dont enjoy but this was his most favorite band ever. and i bluntly told them no i dont like them i think they are a bunch of whiney losers with bad guitar and bass and they try to make up for it with a drum machine cause their drummer sucks too. as i said this i looked at teh kid who realized wha ti was doing.. then the metal dick did a compleat 180. he told me yeah I only have like one of thier cd's and im porbably going ot sell it.. he just told me that this was his most favorite band ever.. i told him he was talking out his ass. metal people are dicks case in point.

like this friend i had once upon a time we went to this fetish shop to looka t stuff and they had these killer shoes which I loved. very unique. I was planning to buy them but I didnt have the money just then. my friend said "god those shoes are nasty i wouldnt be caught dead in them. you have terrible taste" i was shocked. but was like ok to each thier own... i went back the next day to buy them but hey were gone... the next week at the the industrail night there she was wearing my fucking shoes that were so god awful. what a shit. i ordered them in and bought them anyways but was cunty thing to do. i forgave her but things felt apart and we arent friends so much anymore. metal people are dicks.

lots of metal people tend to condemn other metal peopl for the one or two juvinile cd's in thier collection when they have the same things in thiers. bullshit i tell you. so in conclusion.. im pretty sure your band is fine.. dont care so much.

things you may need to know to understand other things

The following accounts are all true nothing has been altered or exsagerated in any way shape or form.
If you didnt already know, I've been told on many occasion that I am "an odd duck"
some people thing its the way i was raised, some people think im just that weird. Havent quite figured out that one yet...
My family is a compleat anomoly. I have both my original parents and sister who is younger than me. we also get along which is bizarre in its self.

My dad is a pretty wicked guy, The best way I can describe him is a cross between Tommy chong and hyde from that 70's show... only 40 somthing. infinet knowledge of classic rock and behaivour writes poetry and has some pretty crazy ideas. for example building a fuctional hover craft that looks like a UFO but its built around a VW engine. he is currently in the middle of staging his new style poetry revolution. he drives a 1973 volkswagon kombi bus thats painted psycadelic with flowers and peace sign and mushrooms etc.

My mom is my best friend. More often than not when someone says "god your weird, or you're a geek" etc. i just say.. "shut up my mom thinks im cool" mom and i have sick sences of humor together.

Dad would read his poetry and back then he and mom used to take me down to this little coffee place that was in the basement of some building downtown where we would listen to screaming punk bands, poets and storytellers. that was where when i was four years old had my first crush! this 18 year old punk kid with a 2 ft blue green and purple mohawk and saftey pins in his ears. his name was steven i loved him. hes probably a lawyer now.

Dad would take me busking down on 8th ave when I was between 4 and 6 he and his friends would play guitar and sing and id dance and after we'd take the money wed get and go buy a donair and hot chocolate.


My sister and I were pretty much raised in a commune from a really young age.
Often these guy from the club that were friends of ours would crash at our house they lived in our basement i used to go down there with them where they would tell me about the sex pistols and the ramones.. id go to school and tell people i had a rock star living in my basement.. of course they all thought i was lying and it hurt my feelings because to me they were rockstars. they had the long hair electirc guitars they had a band they played at the club we go to... soo they are rockstars. i was lying. SO i took him for show and tell when i was in kindergarden. he showed up with his guitar and his leather jacket and played songs and everything.

people come and people go

my parents then opened a group home for mentally challanged and mentally ill adults... we all lived together in a fourplex which we had knocked the walls out of so ive been exposed to lots of different people. we all helped each other. i got stories about that and schitzophrenics off their meds... but thats for another blog.

we are all just a bunch of excentrics living a "pretend to be normal life"

*insert something amusing here*

So it seems I have a blog now. Ha! Thats rather unfortunate for you! As I am by NO means a literary genius. You can complain all you want. Much good it'll do you. You are the one reading it...

That said, To keep the true spirit of many superfluous blogs I have read, I will provide an on going list of this that piss me off to no avail! So without further ado....

Things that Piss Me Off #1
People who spit- Firstly, this does not include situations where you may find yourself on a bridge or a rather tall building with cars travelling far below, ferris wheels, carney rides especailly the zipper, gravatron or gondolas. Also, roadkill is an acceptable outlet for such behavior, In my past many a roadkill has felt the wrath of a good stick poking (which would explain my lack of friends) double standard? perhaps.. but its my blog so you best shut uppa yo mouth. It's people walking down the street. What the hell is your problem? The majority or these individuals tend to be of the male persuasion. However, I have seen many chicks do this also (you dirty dirty wenches) so they are not excempt. It seems to me many of these loogie hawking men complain about not being able to get laid. coinsedance? HA NO!
Im walking downtown and notice a rather striking guy: Tall, dark. etc.... and after the thought circles my head a few times the guy places his index finger on his right nostrial and makes this god awful hoarking noise the noise travels deep into his throat with a moist reverberating wretch he brings the fluid to the front of his mouth and in a rising cresendo......PPTTTOOOOAHH!!!...... SWEET MERCIFUL FUCK!!!! your hot points were at about an 8.. now you are -5 good luck with that.
I thought perhaps it was because he looked like he belong to some sort of de generate sub culture, bad up bringing? punk ass attitude?.. I decided no because I know plenty of those and they dont seem to do that.In public at least. Later, the same day this yuppie in an expensive suit with a briefcase stops on the corner and hoarks this massive greeny on the side walk. IS YOUR MOTHER RPOUD OF YOU?? IS SHE AROUND??CAUSE AFTER I SLAP YOU ID LIKE TO SLAP HER!!! UPSIDE HER HEAD WITH A FIRE HYDRANT!!!!! god damn.. I've spoken to pleanty of people on this subject the general concensus with guys is that: "It tastes bad, just gotta get rid of it" Kleenex?, Find a bathroom?? Or swallow it?. (the last one to which I get comments of gross! disgusting etc) From all the women I've spoken to they say they have swallowed worse things than thier own flem. get a fucking kleenex.